‘But’ — people say to me — ‘if you consider that apart from fulfillment of the Christian teaching there is no reasonable life, and if you love that reasonable life, why do you not fulfill the commands?’ I reply that I am a horrible creature and deserve blame and contempt for not fulfilling them… Blame me, and not the path I tread and show to those who ask me where in my opinion the road lies! If I know the road home and go along it drunk, staggering from side to side — does that make the road along which I go a wrong one? –Leo Tolstoy
For a large portion of my Christian experience I lived day in and day out with this ever preset fear hanging over my head. It finally became a weight I just couldn’t bear anymore.
Years ago I read about the overly revered Ghandi saying that he didn’t mind Jesus so much, it was his followers who he had the problem with (what he said was this — I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ). I think I better understand his point now (I don’t believe what he stated was meant to be as inspiring as it was to be a knock) — and on many occasions I have echoed his sentiments (even if I was looking at myself in the mirror when I have agreed). Maybe he was on to something, while at the same time he could have expected too much.
We do hear a lot of rumblings about how much like the heathen we Christians are. How we go to church on Sunday and by Tuesday we are singing off the devil’s song sheet. Then again, we get made out to be Hitler because we believe what the bible says about the sanctity of life. Or, ask Rick Warren what it’s like to raise awareness on such a huge scale in regards to the global AIDS epidemic and do something about it and then be ostracized because you actually believe God meant what he said when he said that marriage (Matt. 19:4-6) was to be between one man and one woman (for the record, I’m no huge fan of Ricks but I do consider him a brother and admire his labors of love for the Kingdom).
It really can be confusing. If we do good and have an ounce of pride we are holy rollers and if we do bad we are hypocrites. I fall into both traps.
The problem I have with guys like Ghandi and his proteges is three-fold:
1. Jesus isn’t the only one with an issue when it comes to his followers getting into trouble from time to time and making some kind of mess while attempting to live the life of a true disciple.
2. Hard as we try, we aren’t little Jesuses. We haven’t been removed from our bodies of sin — yet.
3. Every group, even Jesus-followers — includes a few pretenders.
I have always been afraid that my life was going to be such that people would reject Jesus on account of me (due to my numerous failures as a believer, in particular). And because of my inability to live the perfect Christian life I thought I was supposed to live, I was ultimately going to be responsible for hordes of people going to hell. Not because I didn’t tell others about Jesus, but because I wasn’t all that good of a Christian (I have since changed my goal from being a good Christian to something altogether different by the way).
Even when I was a good upstanding youth pastor not even involved in a hint of scandal or abuse, I had this curse. Besides the occasional sheep beating/tongue lashing that I’d rather forget about in which I’d lay a major guilt trip on my teenage parishioners who weren’t living up to my demands at the moment — I was what you’d call ‘above reproach’. However, as straight of a line as I walked, I knew in my heart of hearts I didn’t cut the mustard.
Christians aren’t perfect, just forgiven may be a lame slogan — it can even serve as a cop out — but it can be pretty good theology if in the right context.
For more, check out “Imperfect Christians” on The Mind’s Eye.
What do you think?
Tolstoy’s quote is marvelous. I say something similar but different (like me, you are strange enough to follow that line of reasoning), “I’m just one beggar leading other beggars to where the bread is.” I, too, have difficulty separating “perfectionism” from Christlikeness. I know there is a difference, but my ego, pride, conscience and American sense of right and wrong all get jumbled into the mix and I have trouble separating one from another. Fortunately, I believe God’s grace will sort out the mess in the end.
“Christians aren’t perfect, just forgiven may be a lame slogan”
this is anything but a lame slogan….we are not perfect nor will we ever be in this life time….we carry too much baggage for perfection…we shall become perfected in the next life we attain. I look forward to that time but for now, I will continue to struggle with my imperfections and baggage but remain confident that following the path of Christ as best I can, He will make me a better man than I would be otherwise.